we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i drank out of a bidet.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.