im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
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well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
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Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back