you would pick up someone in the library
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
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you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
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I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service