Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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