I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
