dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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