ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Shame - the story of my life.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
