I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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