I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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