I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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