i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
