sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
