Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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