I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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