remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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