Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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