On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
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Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
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I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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