is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You ate ashes out of my bong
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
