she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
