Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
