I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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