Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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