so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
