im drinking this country out of the recession.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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