In the future we'll all be gay
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Fuck appropriateness.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
