i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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