I cannot find my penis.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
