i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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