We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Randomize
