i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
