i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
