@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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