Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
