My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
