The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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