sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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