Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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