if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
