Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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