You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
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Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
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You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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