Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
you had me at cake vodka
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
