Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Shame is for Republicans.
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