then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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