Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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