Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize