is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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