I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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