Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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