Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
