when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Randomize
