dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
