You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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