talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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