ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Randomize