As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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