I don't think brook has ever known best
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
