She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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