just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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