Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
As shirtless as possible
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
