she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
