I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Let's paint friendship bongs
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
