This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
