Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
