you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
