Are we in a gay sports bar?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
