Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Found your dick twin last night
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
