There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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