so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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