Me too!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
