Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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